My quest for the Supreme ( as I would know it then ) started when I was nine years old. Being an Indian, my family, along with teachers at school had deeply instilled the culture and value system of the Indian Religions.
I started meditating as a student in 1974 on a technique based on the Vedic tradition which I persevered with for nine years and found it had dramatically improved my way of thinking, more open and tolerant. Despite the benefits of this meditation, after about three years I realized that I had come to a dead end and it was not something that would get me to moksha, the Indian term for liberation or Spiritual Enlightenment, so I must find a Satguru, a Perfect Master. Although I had come to the realization of this truth of the need of a Master, I had my own concepts about how a Master should be and where he should be born. Because of my own lack of understanding, not prejudice, I rejected the opportunity that was presented to me in 1978 whilst I was working in London. The adverts I read were very challenging and I resisted, because I wanted the Master to fit into my concepts and validate his teachings according to Indian scriptures.
I left London in April 1980 and joined my family in Wolverhampton, West Midlands, my home town. I continued reading literature on the lives of Saints and, one day came across the words of a saint who said, “ do not be fooled by the colour or country of origin of a Master, if he can give you the revelation of the Light and Sound and promises to take you to liberation, just fall at his feet and accept him as your Guru.” These words came at a perfect time and any doubts that I had were now cleared. Almost within few days of this incident, a very close friend of mine sent me three leaflets on this Spiritual Path, which I must have read about twenty times. The more I read, the intensity of my desire to know more increased, so I looked at the letter that was enclosed, inviting me to a public talk by an Enlightened person on 5th of November, 1983 at Wolverhampton Polytechnic, which was on a Saturday. Due to my commitments, I could not get there in time to listen to the Enlightened person, but managed to speak to some of the people who were already meditating. One particular Initiate I talked to me had introduced himself to me, he looked radiant, confident and very happy, who gave me about ninety minutes of his time and upon my request, he told me that he was a second initiate, I then probed him further where he told me that he could never have got this far by himself, it was his Master who bestowed this state upon him. As soon as He said that, the words of Saint Kabir rang louder within me and I knew I have come to the end of my search.
I was struck with amazement and, still going over what I had just heard, I asked how I could pursue this Path. I took a list of the public talks in the area, the first talk after that was on the 17th of December, 1983 by an Enlightened person at the same Polytechnic. It was very cold and wet that day, so I turned up at 7.30 pm and after the talk asked the next step and got my Personal Mantra on the 22nd of December, 1983. As I sat to meditate, not only was I surprised at the intense Power of this mantra, the person who gave it to me was amazed as to how quickly I surrendered to my meditation. A week had hardly gone by, my wife, Santosh, could not believe the changes she had seen and insisted I take her with me to the next discourse. On 5th of March, 1984, she too was given a Personal Mantra and we meditated regularly.
We persevered with our meditations and the changes that took place were very profound. The people who looked after us displayed a great deal of love and compassion. We both asked for Initiation and saw the Enlightened person, who then gave us a date for our Initiation. On the 8th of July, 1984, I was initiated along with my wife into the Light and Sound. What we witnessed was the greatest miracle in life, I could not believe my great fortune as what I spent years reading about, a tradition of Light and Sound, here I was sitting and witnessing it all by myself, something which the Saints in India had valued more than their lives. We received this Grace through an Enlightened person, who was given authority by the Master, another miracle as how could someone be absent and work through another person. It was the most wonderful initiation, I became absolutely dumb and shocked. Meditating on the Light and Sound for three whole days was stepping into a sanctuary which was untainted by anything in outside world.
My meditations gave me strength unimaginable, although I had to nurse a sick wife for ten years and look after two young children on my own, had I not got the direct care and compassion of my own Master, I very much doubt the fact if I could have sat here to write this testimonial. My personal contact with my Master was the greatest treasure that kept me going in the middle of all hardships in life. I have always seen him as an embodiment of all the scriptures, love and compassion. It is his perseverance with me, and of others who taught me, that kept me going from strength to strength. It is through the Grace of the Master that I realized this eternal law of spirituality, that beginning of a True spiritual Path is through the revelation of this Light and Sound to the spiritual thousand petalled lotus and, not by meditating on a set of mantras. Just as giving a pair of spectacles to a blind man will not restore his sight, so also, meditating on mantras will not set us free from ignorance.
After I had meditated on this energy for few years, I was given the grace to move to the next stage, second initiation. My wife was very ill, the strain of her illness, two young children and the pressure of work lead to my struggles and not letting go in my meditations. Eventually I went away to meditate and surrendered to the intensity of Grace. Here, the degree of freedom I realized in the new state was phenomenal and knew exactly what Saint Kabir talked about in his writings. I realized that there was nothing that could contain me, the space I was cannot reincarnate, I was beyond birth and death, and the theory of the soul as taught by Religions was utterly wrong. I realized that I was beyond my mind and independent of my thoughts, in other words, I was beyond form. I did not feel trapped any longer and, had I been left to my own devices, I would have said I was Enlightened. Here, my love and gratitude for my Master had intensified as I realized he indeed was the Perfect Master, there was no doubt about it. His integrity is commendable, for there is nothing stopping him from saying at this stage that an individual is Enlightened, instead, he told me that I still have to go on as the journey to Enlightenment is not yet complete.
Thus, I continued meditating and went away on 20th December to meditate, on the 24th of December, 1995, I attained Enlightenment or moksha, the final state called Nirvakilpa Samadhi, a Samadhi without a seed. My Enlightenment came not just from meditation, it is the result of grace from the Master and co-operation on my part with his Grace that set me free. I was shocked to find that the identity I had before Enlightenment never existed, it was only a collection of environments. I realized that my true nature was Absolute, Infinite, it is never born and never dies. I sat and witnessed that God being Absolute, it is not trapped in the Universe and nothing can contain God. Because it is undifferentiated and has no parts, the idea of an individual soul is the greatest fallacy invented by Religion. It became very clear that Religions are not the repositories for spirituality but its tombs. The Absolute is indivisible and is the cause of everything, yet itself remains the Causeless Cause. Religion is the greatest impediment for man in keeping him away from finding a Perfect Master.
I continue to serve my Master, who finally gave me Grace to Initiate other people. He has given me the most honourable state and I am humbled to be representing his Path both at home and abroad. He has allowed me to travel to major parts of the World where I have given public talks and conducted spiritual discourses which has helped me to realize that a spiritual life is the highest life to be lived. I am eternally grateful to my Master for allowing me to fulfill the true purpose of my life.
In Loving Devotion and Service to my Master
J Paul Mahay